Monk Archetype: Way of the Drunken Master + Rules for Drinking

(Credit goes to other takes on this archetype at middlefingerofvecna, basicredrpg, and the forums at enworld.org from which I have liberally borrowed and taken inspiration)

Monks of the Way of the Drunken Master find enlightenment and reunion with the larger universe not in long meditation or ancient mudras but at the bottom of a wine barrel. They learn to turn the effects of intoxication into both sword and shield, and become more dangerous the more sozzled and inebriated they become. 

Drink like a Demon

Starting when you choose this tradition at 3rd level, you have learned to catch your enemies off-guard with your drunken and staggering movements. Instead of adding your Wisdom modifier to your AC as per the Unarmoured Defense class feature, add instead the number of Drinks you have imbibed since your last rest. Additionally, hostile creatures have disadvantage on Opportunity Attacks against you. You also gain proficiency with improvised weapons and may count them as monk weapons.

Stance of the Drunken Ox

By 6th level, you become proficient with Constitution saving throws if you aren’t already. Whenever you make an attack, add the number of drinks you have imbibed since your last rest as a bonus to your damage. You may also spend 1 Ki to use Patient Defense as a reaction even if you have already taken one this round.

Slap of the Drunken Carp

At 11th level, when you make an attack you may use your bonus action to also cause a target within melee range to make an attack against a creature within range. The creature may not pull its punches and must attack the new target as if it were a dangerous enemy.

Tao of Drunken Bumbling

Beginning at 17th level your constant stumbling and falling always seems to cause your attackers to come to harm against your elbows, knees, head, or other things you are carrying. When a hostile creature misses you with a melee attack, you can make a melee attack against that creature as a free action. You may use this feature a number of times per round equal to the number of drinks you have imbibed since your last rest.

Drinking

The consumption of alcohol is measured in units called Drinks, each one of which represents a substantial portion of alcohol – half a bottle of wine, a brimming pint of strong beer, a couple of shots, etc. Each time you consume a Drink, you must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw (+2 per Drink already consumed) or gain a level of drunkenness. Drunkenness is measured in six levels.

A creature suffers the effect of its current level of drunkenness as well as all lower levels. For example, a creature suffering level 2 drunkenness has disadvantage on Dexterity-based ability checks and saves and advantage on Charisma-based ability checks.

Drunkenness drops by 1 level for every four hours that pass once a creature has stopped drinking.